What Causes Our Patterns and How to Heal Them

I work with a lot of women who come to me with things they are wanting in their life. This can include everything from attracting their love partner to making more money and everything in between.

And, the one common thing I see is, while they have a strong desire for what they are wanting, they are subconsciously stopping this from occurring because of patterns and pain they’ve taken on and experienced in their childhood.

Let me explain. Say, for instance, you are desiring a love partner. You may even have no difficulty meeting men. Unfortunately, though, the men you do meet are all narcissists. Each time you think it’s going to be different, and yet, each time, whether it’s the first date, a week, a month or even a few months in, you find out the same thing – that it’s all about them. As you’re experiencing this over time, you get more and more frustrated, and while you have awareness of the type of guy you’re attracting, and even possibly, why you’re attracting him (After all, your mom attracted narcissists too.), you don’t know how to stop this from happening.

So, what if I told you the above pattern was completely related to stored emotions in the body? To clarify, in the moment you were watching your mom date narcissists, you may have made up several conclusions including that this was all you deserved, which is related to the pattern of worthiness, and taken one step further, as part of this, you may be recreating this pattern to have the voice that you weren’t able to have in that moment. Her dating pattern was hurting you, but when you were a child, you didn’t have the opportunity to speak your truth and let her know this. So, you’ve recreated this pattern in order to right the wrongs from your childhood, and in essence, because this was your love model. (I.e. – Love equals being in a relationship where it’s all about them.) Unfortunately, though, because you haven’t cleared the initial emotions from these moments, (After all, most of us have been taught to stuff down and run away from our emotions, even that having emotions are shameful.) you’re recreating this experience over and over.

But, what if I told you that the opposite is actually true? What if I told you that you have to feel it to heal it, that to clear it, you can’t avoid it, and really, that your only way out is in.

So, let’s look at another example of this. Say you grew up in a family where you were just getting by financially, where your parents never made more than $50k. From this, while you want more now, you may be limiting yourself, because when you were growing up, buying into this represented safety and maybe even love. Also, many times when we grow up with a certain “money reality” or income ceiling, we can end up recreating this until that ceiling is cleared.

The above examples, the conclusions we make, and, really, the subconscious patterns we take on in from all kinds of moments in our childhood, patterns that block us from having what we want in our present-day life, is one of the reasons why I do the work I do. That, and the fact I don’t believe that the patterns, pain, trauma and abuse we’ve experienced in our childhood needs to take us down for the rest of our lives. (You can absolutely heal this, and I’ve helped many women heal their version(s) of this, sometimes in as little as a few weeks.)

So many times our childhood programming has helped us survive up to this point, but, unfortunately, it is now keeping us from getting the results we really want because of the unconscious conclusions that were made at that time. Unfortunately, these conclusions keep us stuck.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. The first step to making this change is joining me in one of my Clearing Patterns & Pain Energy-Clearing Workshops. And, if you’re not able to make one of these workshops, don’t hesitate to reach out and we can set up a time to talk about what’s going on in your life. At that time, I can help you identify your deepest-seeded patterns and we can see if there’s a good fit for us to talk about working together further.