Can we be met in our relationships?

This question popped into my consciousness the other day. I’ve thought about it before, and I’ve seen other teachers address it, in my personal opinion, incorrectly, though I understand how, depending on where you are on your journey, this can be seen from  many viewpoints.

So, first of all, what does it mean to me to be met in relationship?

For me, being met in relationship means being seen, honored, loved and cherished for all parts of myself. No more contracting, hiding or feeling ashamed or less than because I’m not like others or I’ve been hurt in some way that another may not have experienced. Instead, I share these parts of myself unabashedly, and they are not only heard, but recognized and welcomed.

That being said, there are (at least!) two ways we can view if we can be met in our relationships:

  1. If you believe we can only bring certain pieces of ourselves to our relationships and the world, you will often likely feel unmet in your relationships.
  2. On the other hand, if, like me, you have a desire to bring forth your full and true self in all of your relationships, and are willing to do the work on this, know this actually isn’t true. 

So, what is the work that needs to be done to change this?

Meeting ourselves.

The reason for this:

We can only be met in relationship as much as we can meet ourselves. 

As part of this, know, when we haven’t fully and wholeheartedly owned, honored, loved and cherished those parts we’ve been taught to hide or are wrong (which is an ever-evolving journey!), of course, when we are in relationship with another and desire to be met by them, they can’t meet us any more than we’ve met ourselves. 

So, how do you do this?

  1. Identify the parts of yourself that you’ve been hiding or are ashamed of. This can include desires, pain you’ve experienced, judgments you have about yourself, or even, your “weirdness”.
  2. Then, honor why you hide or are ashamed of these parts. (You can do this by simply saying these reasons out loud in the present tense. For example, “I hide my emotions because these weren’t valued in my family.” Say this out loud as many times as you need to, until it holds no charge for you.)
  3. Then, once it feels like you can’t say it any longer and it holds no charge, which can take working on this multiple times, talk to your inner child (if it feels true), and let them know you have their back on this, and maybe even, that you love these parts of them (again, only if this feels true).

Then, notice how people start to respond to these pieces of you. I guarantee if you’ve done the above in an honest and real way, you will start to see shifts in peoples’ responses to you. 

In my personal experience, as I’ve worked through the beliefs I had learned about many parts of me that I had previously been taught not to share, returning these back to love, and then dropping societal or family “rules” on what I can and can’t talk about with whom, which includes sharing all of my “woo”, pain, desires and emotions, I’ve noticed people, even strangers, are welcoming and honoring these realities, too. 

It’s a beautiful thing that I invite you to step into more, if you haven’t already.

To a meeting of the “me’s” (all of them!)!

Deb

P.S. – If you’re desiring to create feel-right, full-on and all-in love™, one you can bring all of your me’s 🙂 to, I invite you to apply for my Complimentary 30-Minute Relationship Assessment here.

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