As I put myself out there in new ways, I am realizing just how many people have a hard time communicating their no. This used to be challenging for me, too, (and sometimes still is!). I remember, years ago, many times finding myself saying yes, even when I meant no, or awkwardly turning someone down, or even lying, to get out of something just because I didn’t know how to say no.
But, as I’ve taken this journey to truth, connecting to my no and then knowing how to share it in a way that’s kind and clear, I realize no can be just as easy (or easier) than yes. And, more importantly, that saying no tells the Universe what to bring us more (and less!) of!
All that said, I want you to notice, do you have a subconscious pattern of thinking saying no is unkind? I’ve thought this at points in my journey, too, and now I realize that lying, or even at times being unclear, is much unkinder than being direct with someone and just saying what you feel. (Along with that, today, I cried, not because someone said no to me, but because in an effort to try to cushion it, it felt contradictory and untrue, and when I read what they sent me, I felt this in my body and it felt icky to receive, and even hurtful that they felt they just couldn’t be honest with me.)
Some examples of what this looks like for me, while still staying true to myself, include:
“This just isn’t aligned for me (or aligned for me at this time).”
“This doesn’t feel right to me.”
“I’m so happy for you, but this isn’t calling to me right now.”
and if you don’t know how to say no or the above isn’t really true, just simply saying, “I can’t (or I’m not going to) make it,” for example, is another way to say it.
The most important thing here is being real, true and kind, first to you, and then to the other person, knowing no matter what you say, it’s a win-win for both of you when this occurs.
I talk more about this in my book, Living Deeply: A Transformational Journey Through Deep Pain, Loss and Abandonment to Healing, Self-Love and Miracles (Tomorrow is the last day for the complimentary 50-Minute Energy Clearing Video that clears many of the patterns found in the book, if this calling to you.), but again, just knowing your yes and no here and making a clear choice accordingly is super powerful.
In the meantime, sending much love!
To no being a complete sentence!
Deb