Loving Difficult Family During the Holidays

family holidays

While for many, the holidays with family are filled with fun and love, for others, the holidays can bring up old tensions, arguments and challenges. For those that fall into the latter category, here are some tips to make the holidays more free flowing (and loving!).

1. Cut All Cords.
So, first of all, what do I mean when I say, “Cut All Cords?” From the time when we’re little, it’s very common for our family members to subconsciously put certain cords in us (and us in them). These cords hold us to certain roles, expectations and stories. Examples of this can include being the good one, always running late, picking a fight and everything in between. Whether it’s old hurts, arguments or even projections, whatever the case, many of these stories no longer serve us (if they ever did). So, even before we arrive, we can choose to clear and shift these stories. And, while this tool may seem a bit “out there”, it does work (if you believe it can). So, how do you do this? Simply say out loud, “Archangel Michael, please help me cut all cords to this person.” It’s simply that simple, and once you make this request, the Archangels are always happy to oblige, though they won’t interfere unless you ask for help. With this request, when you say this, you may even notice a strong presence that comes in, but either way, know that you are receiving the help you need.

2. See Them from Compassion and Love.
This next one, seeing your loved one from compassion and love, sounds really easy, but in the moment, can be challenging. Think of a time when you were having a conflict with a loved one. They wanted to be right and so did you, but did that get you anywhere? Not likely. Instead, let this holiday be the opportunity to develop a new response. The next time you’re in an argument, can you see them as someone you love or even, can you see the little child that lives within them that just wants to be seen and heard, and/or genuinely believes that what they are saying is for your highest good? While it might be hard at first, in choosing this, you are choosing your relationship with them vs. your ego. It’s up to you to determine which of these is most important to you.

3. Reciprocate Your Gratitude.
When you’re spending time with your family, it can be easy to fall into old roles or take what they’re doing for granted. But, what can you do to be grateful, and taken one step further, reciprocate your gratitude and lend a helping hand? It can be as simple as acknowledging their extra effort, helping them in the kitchen or setting the table. Whatever the case, we’re all just doing the best we can, and a little gratitude can go a long way.

4. Focus on the Good.
This last one is all about focusing on good times you’ve had with your family as well as what you like about them. If you’re having a hard time with a particular family member, can you focus on what is good about the current situation? Alternatively, if you can’t find anything, can you find a time in your life when you really enjoyed their company or they did something nice for you? Whether it’s a vacation, a time you shared hysterical laughter or a time they went out of their way to help you, all of these can help you to redirect your energy out of your current challenge into what’s most important – your relationship. Also, even with your most difficult family members, usually, there’s at least one thing you like about them. The holidays are the perfect time to focus on whatever that is.

In any case, wishing you a beautiful holiday with family and friends.

Much love,