It wasn’t too long ago that I felt like a big failure in relationship. I’d meet a guy, get excited about the possibilities and subconsciously, my abandonment pattern would kick in and I would be worried that they were going to leave before we even got started. They would feel this pressure from me, even if I never said a word, and within a short period of time, I would have created a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It took a dramatic shift in the way I looked at everything in relationship (and even in break-ups) to create a new experience.
Here’s what I did to begin shift and reframe relationships (and break-ups):
1. No More Relationship “Failures.”
In this world, we are so conditioned to look at things as succeeding or failing. I stopped looking at my relationships like this. Whether they lasted for a month, six months or a lifetime, all of my relationships were taking me to the relationship I had been desiring since I was a little girl, and I could see how each relationship was leading me to my final partner in this lifetime.
2. I Allowed My Relationships to be Practice.
As part of the above, I shifted from having to see each person as a potential “one” to seeing each relationship as practice. This can be scary for some, as when we are getting involved with someone, emotions are involved and there is a potential to get hurt, but I found it worked so much better as it took the pressure off of a relationship having to be something it wasn’t and it allowed me to focus on having fun and growing into the person in relationship that I wanted to attract.
3. I Embraced My Triggers.
I used to think if I was in a relationship with someone and they triggered me that this might be an indicator that they weren’t the “one.” Awhile ago, I shifted this to gratitude and began seeing being triggered as a way to clear my abandonment pattern. I realized that if I didn’t feel it, I couldn’t heal it. Doing this, shifted everything, as I started to dive in and embrace all of my triggers, and I actually got excited to be triggered, which I know might be a stretch for you., but worked really well, especially the move I moved into living from the soul perspective, versus the human perspective. (You can read all about how I embraced my triggers here and how this cleared my abandonment pattern.)
4. I Managed My Energy in My Relationships.
As I mentioned above, for the longest time, my abandonment pattern would show up constantly in my relationships, even at the beginning. Early on, I didn’t realize that, even if I never said a word, the person I was dating could feel this neediness and pressure. Once I realized this, I started to do practices to shift this, including going out in nature and feeling space between my partner and I.
With the above tools as well as the ones I’m teaching this coming Saturday in my Creating Big Love: Clearing Relationship Patterns Energy-Clearing Workshop, I’m happy to say I’m creating an amazing love partnership!
So, if you’re ready to create your own version of this and clear out the relationship patterns that stop you from this, come join me this Saturday, February 17th for my next Online Group Energy Clearing! For my definition of big love, more details and to register, click here. (Registration closes on Friday, February 16th at 11 pm ET.)